When Your Little One Grows Up

Photo courtesy of Rosario Janza (Unsplash)

You remember the day they were born like it was yesterday; that little bundle of joy you brought home in your arms, so small and so fragile. They are dependent on you for everything, from feeding them safe and warm, to keeping them clean and fed. But from the moment they are born your little one is growing up.

First comes their physical development, followed closely by their social and emotional development…

They didn’t know who you were when you brought them home from the hospital, but now they recognise your face immediately. It brings them comfort and happiness, as do all the other familiar faces around them. When you held them in your arms to cuddle they could not grip, but now they grab your finger as if this one little thing will keep them forever safe. They can roll onto their tummy and hold their head up too, as they look at the world around them. And what’s this funny noise I can hear? It used to be gurgles and cries, now there is a conversational babble to the sound.

Oh sweet babies, must you grow so fast?

The days have turned into months and the months into years, and your little ones are steadily mastering the skills that will allow them to make that transition from infant to child. They have long been walking and talking, and now they have their friends. They are increasingly aware of concepts such as kindness, sharing and perseverance, and want to be a part of everything. But by God, if they do not get their way they are going to demonstrate their displeasure through the stomping of feet and a high-pitched screech!

As the conspicuous years roll by ever faster, your child doesn’t seem so little any more. They no longer need you to help them with their daily life. Indeed, they want, and sometimes demand, their independence and the freedom to be who they want to be. Goth, diva, genius; they will be who they want to be whether you approve of it or not. For why should they have to answer to you? they protest. Why should they be who you want them to be? It’s their life, they argue. Their choice. You turned a blind eye to the dip-dyed hair, you even tolerated the spikes, but sometimes it can feel like a battle of the wills, with you trying to hang on to them to keep them close, to keep them safe, them trying just as hard to push you away and break free of those proverbial apron strings that cramp the person they are trying to become.

Photo courtesy of Julia Coimbra (Unsplash)

But let them go you must because it is only through independence they can learn how to be safe, how to make those decisions only they can make. They will make mistakes, hopefully only minor ones but probably quite a few. But mistakes are a part of life’s learning curve, are they not? Did you not make a few of your own? Let them see what life is all about. Let them fly, let them fall every once in a while.

Photo courtesy of Christian Bowen (Unsplash)

The final hurrah before adulthood hides the inner child away now, perhaps for good. It comes in fits and starts as hormones rush through your growing teen’s body. Your only job now is to give them the tools they need to make wise choices, and the strength and courage to bounce back when life knocks them down. Tantrums and tears may once again be rife, as may arguments, misbehaviour and the addiction to rebel just for the sake of rebelling. Will they sink or swim? you worry. Will they make unwise decisions that will affect them for the rest of their whole life? Well, nobody can tell you the answer to that but I suspect there are a good many parents who thought the same about their own children. Did their fears come true? Did their child sink from the sun? Maybe, but nobody should let their fears dictate them. Glass half full…always.

Now your nest is empty.

Once upon a time you longed for clean floors, smudge-free windows and the freedom to just do your own thing once in a while, without having to think of a babysitter or worry about the house burning down in your absence. Now you have all that but…shhh…it’s oh-so-quiet! How you wish for those dirty floors and sticky windows again. Or maybe just a day of it. But life is a revolving door, and your children will always come back to you, if only for the free laundry service you offer them.

Maybe they will have a family of their own one day, and give you beautiful grandchildren to smother with love and adoration. Maybe instead of children they will grow their wings and soar to dizzy heights in the sky. Nobody knows what life will bring them in the future. Your every dream may come true, or it may be dashed in one split second. But you can look back on the years that wrinkled your skin and turned your black hair grey and smile, because for all the tears, for all the tantrums, for all those sleepless nights, you loved every moment and you would not change a single thing.