Anxiety in Children

Photo courtesy of Kelly Sikkema (Unsplash)

It is common for children to develop anxiety (particularly separation anxiety) between the ages of 6 months and 3 years but they usually grow out of them. You may be asking yourself why your child is feeling anxious in the first place, especially if in your mind they really do have nothing to worry about. There can be many reasons; sometimes they just have a natural tendency to worry. Significant changes in the family dynamics can often be very difficult for children to deal with, so too can conflict within a family, so it is important to address any issues you might have if you are to prevent or reduce their effect on your child’s anxiety.

Anxiety only becomes a problem if it affects everyday life. Severe or persistent anxiety in your child may set their confidence back and prevent them from moving on without help. If this is the case it is always a good idea to seek help and advice from your GP.

If they are young they may not always be able to verbalise, or even understand, how they feel so symptoms to look out for can include:

• bed wetting

• nightmares or waking in the night

• tantrums, crying or angry outbursts when faced with the stressor

• loss of appetite

• difficulty sleeping

• avoidant behaviours around normal activities. For example, not wanting to go to school or participate in social activities

• lack of concentration

• irritable or clingy

• lack of confidence in trying new things, or difficulty facing everyday challenges.

How you can help

Whilst it is always preferential for you to eliminate your child’s anxiety altogether, your goal is to help them manage it in a way that it does not impede their everyday life. You can do this in the following ways:

• Talk to them about their anxieties, telling them you understand why they might feel that way, but don’t empower or reinforce their fears, or trivialise them.

• Set positive but realistic expectations. Someone may laugh at them, or they may not make a single friend on their first day at school, but let them know you have confidence that if these things do happen, they will be able to deal with it and move on, and in time, the things they fear now will not seem so scary.

• The physiological effects of anxiety (rapid breathing, sweaty palms, etc.) can be quite unnerving for a child so if they’re old enough to understand, explain how anxiety affects them physically, and reassure them that these feelings are short-lived. Show them relaxation techniques they can use to ease their symptoms.

• Children always find routine reassuring so try sticking to one, but do not avoid the activity or situation that causes the anxiety as this will only lead to further avoidance.

• Prepare them for significant changes, such as moving house or changing schools, by talking to them about what is happening and why.

• Try not to worry yourself, or become overprotective, as your child will pick up on this and believe they actually do have something to be afraid of.

• Distraction can sometimes lessen the impact of anxiety so try to find ways to redirect the focus of their attention.

Photo courtesy of Pawal Czerwinski (Unsplash)